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Rain's Scattered Thoughts

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1/2/04 11:12 pm - Another day in the life of me

I figured I would try to update this thing every day now if I can though I would imagine most days are going to be mega boring. Ah well.

Haven’t done so terribly hot on my diet so far. *rolls eyes* Pretty pathetic already. It’s my sweet tooth that is going to be the end of me I swear. Thankfully there are a pretty wide variety of low carb options out there now. Instead of getting regular ice cream I just get some low carb ones. But only the ones made with Splenda. That stuff rocks!! It doesn’t leave that nasty bitter taste behind that some sugar substitutes do. I love it. Now if they would just start making diet sodas with it instead of aspartame!! Then I would be one happy camper. LOL I did lose a half a pound so far. Not too bad for not really having tried all that hard yet. I plan to work on planning a work out routine this weekend to put into effect starting on Monday. Hopefully then I will start to get pumped about it and start to see some results. Who knows. I will probably just fail this time too.

My hubby and I went to the eye doctor today. I have horrid eye site. I am so near sited that I couldn’t see this monitor in front of my face without my high power contact lens. LOL And my left eye actually got worse!!! I really want to get LASIK surgery something fierce but I just don’t have $2000 laying around for that kind of thing right now. *sighs* I wish though. My hubby has to get glasses. This is the first time he has ever dealt with something like that before. We were just terribly glad to hear that his eye sight changes were not do to diabetic reasons. The doctor said all looked great as far as the condition of his eye. His brother had to get glasses at this age so it is all probably just hereditary. I know all about that only my problems started in the 4th grade. Luckily he actually looks pretty sexy in the frames he picked out. It will be interesting trying to get used to seeing him in glasses. LOL

And I took the advice of MV and we purchased Gundam Encounters in Space. I have yet to get to lay it though. We bought it today but after our eye exams we both have major headaches so neither of us have played it yet. It sounds totally awesome and I can’t wait to get to play it. Maybe once my eyes have adjusted to my new prescription tomorrow I won’t have a headache anymore and will be able to play.

Well, that is about it for my day today. SO exciting I know. *extreme sarcasm*

1/1/04 09:32 am - Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to anyone and everyone!!!

I know I plan to do things right over the next year. It should be a pretty big year for me actually. This year I will hopefully attend my 10th year high school reunion. I will also celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary. But before I can truly enjoy those things I feel like I must get a handle on my weight. It has been out of control since the birth of my son 10 years ago. Basically I have not been in charge of my life, really, in the past 10 years. This year I am going to TAKE IT BACK!!!!! I refuse to be a slave to emotions which drive me ever constantly to the kitchen. I am ready to responsibility for my weight and more importantly accountability for it. I resolve this year to lose one pound a week, MINIMUM, for a total loss of 52 pounds by this time next year. I will meet this resolution! I am starting out at a whopping 200 lbs even today. That is actually fine with me. I was hoping to be at an even 200 on this day. It makes it that much easier for calculating the losses. :-) I would really love to weight at least 150 by the time my reunion rolls around but that might be setting goals a little lofty so I won’t shoot for that necessarily. But it sure would be nice. *sighs* All my classmates will remember the 125 person I was back in high school. Ah well. I don’t know why but I would mean a lot to me to go back looking better than I did before. The important thing really is that my husband and I (we both graduated from the same class, same school) will be walking into that reunion TOGETHER! I can’t wait to show all those guys. Most people thought we got married just because I was pregnant. *rolls eyes* People seem to forget we were engaged before that happened. I also resolve to pay off all the credit card debt we have accumulated. I have already taken the first step to make this happen by consolidating our four credit cards we had with pretty high interest rates onto one card from our bank with a very nice interest rate. The minimum payment will now be what just one of those other cards was by itself. We should be able to really chunk down on the principle balance now that we can make larger payments on one balance. I look forward to being out of debt. But this will cut into our savings for our anniversary trip. That is my other resolution. I want to go do something totally awesome with my hubby for our 10 year. I think we deserve it having been through all the shit we have been though. We are trying really hard to decide where to go. Well, we have almost 9 months before we have to go anywhere so that gives about 7 months I guess to really make up our minds. That should be doable. I would have no reservation I guess about putting the whole trip on the credit card if I had to. WE WILL GO SOMEWHERE AND HAVE FUN!!!! Even if it kills me. LOL

Well, enough about resolutions, though those are three I truly expect to keep. The rest... who knows. They are all little things anyways.

Let’s see. We had a good Christmas here. Our daughter absolutely loves her bike. She was so fun to watch Christmas morning. Being three years old she finally grasped the concept of Santa bringing presents this year. It was such a joy to watch her little face light up. Our son is getting to the stage where he is really too picky though. We went shopping for him and got a couple of PS2 games and accessories. After we went shopping for that stuff we bought an Xbox. My hubby has been dying to have Halo so we finally broke down and got it and the Xbox. Now my son almost refuses to play the PS2. *rolls eyes* Overall for Christmas almost one third of his presents were PS2 related and they are sitting in barely touched. As a parent who spent money on that stuff I find it very frustrating!!! Ah well. What can you do? I am really loving the Xbox myself though. My hubby’s uncle sent us $50 for Christmas so we bought the LOTR ROTK Xbox game because it was one we both agreed on. LOL I beat it probably a week after we had it. I am so obsessed with it!! I only have the game 93% beat though according to the save file. I am rather enjoying going back and playing all the characters in all the levels. You can take Frodo to Pelennor fields to do battle and take Legolas to fight Shelob. Once you beat the game anyway. It is such a blast. And you unlock three characters at the end, Faramir, Merry and Pippin. Faramir really kicks ass!!! I beat the whole game with him in a very short time. And you can unlock cheat codes at the end as well. I think I have discovered that you can’t take your characters past level 20 though. I have played both Faramir and Legolas to that point but I am pretty sure I have gotten level ups when actually playing but then when you go to see your results at the end of the level the level score itself doesn’t seem to go above 20. So, I am now working on getting all my characters completely played out through the entire game and all at level 20. It’s a great game to play when I am frustrated with the kids because I get to go kill things. LOL The Southern Gate level is a great one to play to vent frustration because there are a TON of orcs to kill there.

We saw the ROTK the weekend it came out. I loved it. It did feel a little long to me though because I read the book and I was basing what I was seeing on what I had read. When the battle was taking so much time through the movie I would think to myself “Man, they still have so much story to tell.” But I see now that they just took those short battle scenes from the book and really stretched them out and took some of the long story stuff at the end of the book and compressed it. I am glad for that though. It makes for a much more tolerable movie. LOL I loved it. I can’t wait for the extended DVD to see what all is put back in. I am sad to see it end. My hubby told me he read somewhere that New Line Cinemas is trying to get the movie rights for The Hobbit. Peter Jackson said he would love to direct that as well. I really hope that works out. Almost every movie studio is bidding for the rights though. Who knows. As long as Peter Jackson and his same team does the movie I think it will be alright. I already saw in an interview Ian McKellan would love to do it. I really hope that all works out. That would kick ass!!

Ah... I lost of my track of thought now. Oh yes... Christmas. LOL My hubby and I usually don’t give each other gifts but this year he surprised me and got me The Hobbit book. I look forward to reading that. I got a pretty cruddy Christmas bonus this year as compared with past years. But ah well, it was better than nothing for sure! I bought myself the Blue Gender DVD box set. I still haven’t finished watching Excel Saga yet though. AH!! So much anime to watch, so little time. And on January 6th the next Full Metal Panic comes out. And the next box and DVD for Saiyuki. And I think the next Pretear was slated to come out then but I am unsure on that one. I really like that series so far. My hubby hates it! LOL I guess it is to girly for him or something. He’s more a mecha guy I guess. And the next Pet Shop of Horrors manga comes out too! I hate that they release those things so friggin’ far apart! I think the next King of Hell manga comes out that day too but I am unsure on that one as well. I have the first three of them but I have only read up to halfway through the second one. I guess I will keep getting it though so I will have something to read on a day I am board.

AH!! This is a very long entry. Hope everyone out there has a great 2004!!!!!

12/16/03 05:06 pm - Long time no type

I didn’t realize it had been this long since I updated last. YIKES! As much as enjoy the holidays because of the days off from work, etc. the time sure does fly by. I hate that part.

But alas. Things are finally looking up around here for now so I am pleased overall. My husband’s insurance paid a large portion of his stress test and we have appealed their decision on the hospital stay denial. They are reconsidering it right now so it is wait and see on that for now. But we are trying to stay positive about it. My new insurance finally kicked in so now my entire family is insured... FINALLY! My hubby went to pick up his medicine for his diabetes last night and he usually has to pay over $50 for it without insurance. When he went last night with the new insurance card he only had to pay $7! *faints* He had just filled another medication that was $170 though. But luckily the pharmacy said they would refile it and give us the extra money back.

I think I may have actually gotten my raise too. My check last pay period was more and they should be taking out the money for insurance for all of us now. But... I didn’t get a pay stub for some reason so I am not sure about that. I get automatic deposit and being on vacation all last week (for my birthday and just for fun) I think my stub got misplaced or something. Ah well. Guess I will wait another week and a half to find out. Keeping my fingers crossed on a Christmas bonus to come up soon too, with luck.

Only four more days till I get to see ROTK!! YAY. We decided to wait until the weekend to see it. Going to see the Matrix Revolutions on a Wednesday night was kind of a pain so we are going to the very first showing on Saturday the 20th. I can’t wait. Though I am a little upset they cut Christopher Lee from the last movie. Makes me wish I hadn’t read the book so I wouldn’t know the difference. Ah well. I know I will still enjoy it.

I also bought the entire Excel Saga series on DVD this past week. And we got an X-box too. I am going to kick myself one of these days for maxing out the new credit card we got to pay off all the others but hey! Fun for now. LOL At least now I will be able to get all of our debt onto ONE friggin’ card instead of four different ones. I'm going to pay off the other four and lock them up in a safe deposit box in the bank. I know I wouldn’t go through all the trouble to drag them out to use them. Starting next year I have got major things to accomplish. But I will start planning that next week or so.

Well, gotta run for now. My daughter is dying to watch the Garfield trailer. I made the mistake of showing it to her. I guess we are definitely going to be going to see that movie. LOL

Later!!

11/1/03 09:09 am - AH... Saturday

So glad for the weekend to finally be here. *sighs* Last week was a long week.

Halloween went great last night. The kids really seemed to enjoy themselves. We made a very last minute decision on my son's constume and instead of being a ghost he ended up being a coal minor. It was nice because he had a light on his hard hat to help guide us through the dark. LOL And Sheridan looked adorable in her little princess costume. She was a little scared of some of the customes we passed though. There was one girl in particular with the whole "Scream" look going. My daughter didn't care fot that mask AT ALL! LOL These people were behind us most of the way around the neighborhood too so it was kind of funny. They got a whole lot more candy than I ever expected. It was overall a great time.

Today my parents are taking both kids for the day. YAY YAY YAY!!!!! We are so going to enjoy the peace and quite around here. I am sure we will find something to do with our time. *wink wink* Dave said he wasn't sure he wanted to take the drive to go see Alien so we may just stick around here and do something. Maybe go see Scary Movie 3 or Kill Bill. Who knows. The point is the kids will be gone all day and that is enough for us. ^____^

Also on Friday I got a piece of good news from my job finally. Not about my raise though. Actually this will take more money out of my check. *cries* We thought Dave was going to have to wait until January 2004 to get on my health insurance after his company dropped theirs because our policy only had one enrollement period. But... our office is changing insurance companies so he gets to get on today! This is very good news. Two more months we don't have to worry about him not being covered. The only bad thing is this will be taking a pretty big chunk out of my check each pay period. But they added dental to our package too so that is a plus.

But I got summoned for jury duty Friday. <_< But, in reading that back of the form I get to defer! YAY! Thanks to my daughter. LOL If you are the primary care taker of a child under 4 you get to request deferment. Thank God for that! I really didn't feel like doing that whole thing. Of course, it would have been a little extra money... very little, but extra just the same. I still think I will defer. Car taxes came in too. Almost $200! *falls over* It seems ironic that all the bills seem to be piling up right here at the end of the year when we should be thinking about what we are going to get the kids for Christmas. Hopefully my Christmas bonus from the office this year will be decent... oh wait... if I even get one. *rolls eyes* Well, I am off to enjoy my child free Saturday. :-)

10/30/03 02:36 pm - Well....

It's official. My check with into the bank today and there was no pay raise on it. I grow increasingly tired of the bullshit that I get from that office. I have been looking online a lot lately just to kind of see what else is out there. There are all kinds of companies all over the US that hire transcriptionists to work from home from ANYWHERE in the US. With the advances in technology I can transcribe for a doctor all the way across the country. I am taking that into serious consideration.

But my mood is lifting a little. Just watched some clips from the next Matrix movie which Kyle Hebert had posted on his web page. They were so cool to watch. I am so stoked for this movie to come out. And I have almost finished reading my LOTR ROK book too. I can't wait to see all of that stuff unfold on screen. Quite exciting it is.

That and I am hatching a master plan to surprise my hubby this weekend. However, there are a few unknowns at this point. My parents were wanting to take our kids to an animal park about a two hour drive from where we live. So they will be gone most of the day. My hubby is dying to see the director's cut of Alien that was just released. I looked it up and the closest theater playing it to us is about an hour or so drive from here. So.... if all goes well and my parents do decide to take the kids, depending on what time they actually leave, hopefully I will be able to surprise my hubby with a trip up to see Alien. I just have to keep him from finding out about my parents thinking about taking the kids for the day. I love being sneaky.

And tomorrow is Halloween. My son decided kind of at the last minute that he wanted to go. He has never been really big into Halloween. Strange... a kid who doesn't want to go get free candy. Weird. My daughter wanted to be a princess so we got her a Cinderella costume. As for the ghost we are just doing the old sheet bit with the holes cut out. That is what he wanted to do so... that's what we will do.

Well, that is about all that's going on around here lately. Just trying to keep my spirits up about that stupid raise. Hopefully it will be on my next check. My hubby thought maybe they just wanted to start it at the beginning of a pay period or something. I say bullshit but whatever. If it is not on the next one I will have to seriously start weighing my options.

Ah well.

Later!

10/27/03 02:10 pm - Same ol'

Well, not too many things have changed since my last entry. Things with my husband’s insurance situation have yet to improve. We did get a letter from his physician stating that he didn’t see his conditions as being related, therefore, the admission for the chest pain was not a pre-existing condition. We are going to mail that off with an appeal to the insurance company and hopefully they will take it seriously and we will see some results. If they still refuse to pay then we will for sure be contacting our insurance commissioner. My mom was looking up the Pacific Life insurance group and they have other complaints pending on them right now so apparently others have had problems with that group as well. It still really sucks though. I hate being in this situation. But I can’t really do much to change what will happen. Just send the appeal and contact the right people and let what happens happen. I only pray it all works out in the end so that we don’t have to pay a small fortune to get out of this debt. But we have some really good plans for where to get the money... if that time comes and we need it. So we won’t be sunk. Just not happy being sucked dry. *rolls eyes* Ah well. We got the bill from the Cardiologist’s office where he had the stress test done and they didn’t even file his insurance!! URGH!! I hate physician’s offices. I think it is a requirement that you be a dumb person to work in one. (Oh wait! I work for a physician’s office! *falls over anime style*) They didn’t even have on their records that he was covered by insurance at the time he had the test. So frustrating!!! Do they seriously think we would have taken a $2,500 test WITHOUT having insurance to pay for some of it! They must think we are fucking crazy. But my husband set them straight and I faxed them all the appropriate information today so that they can file the stinking claim with the insurance. That at least puts that bill off for one more month. And once we appeal the hospital claim that will be on hold too. I am just so ready for all of this shit to be over with. It is emotionally and physically draining. *sighs*

Then the shit with my job. Well, I went into the office last night to go ahead and pick up my tapes for today and one of the docs was in the office. I type for three out of the five docs we have at our office. Luckily the one that was there at the office is my favorite. He told me that he talked to Clint and that my raise would be coming “soon”. Now exactly how soon “soon” is to him is beyond me. I would really like to see the raise on my next pay check (October 31st) but I am surely not going to hold my breath on that one. Chances are I will be waiting longer than that. But at least I have assurances from him that it coming... of course he also told me that several months ago. URGH! Getting very frustrated with that also. Yet again, very emotionally and physically draining. I seriously need to buy a punching bag for our garage. It would help me out greatly! Plus it might help with my stupid weight...

...which brings me to my next issue of frustration. Losing weight is a bitch! I have been at the same weight for the past three weigh ins now. It is really starting to take it’s toll. Made me really not want to exercise at all this past week and my eating for the past week has been atrocious. I guess I should be thankful in that case that I haven’t gained anything and just stayed level. Tomorrow is the official weigh in day though. Guess I will see what the results are then. I don’t expect any loss for sure.

Man, I finally got a chance to watch John Q last night. OH MY GOD!!! I cried my eyes out! That movie is so friggin’ sad and suspenseful in certain parts. Given our current situation I probably shouldn’t have watched it anyway, given the subject matter with the health insurance. But I have wanted to see it since it first came out and couldn’t help but watch. Thank goodness a show about wild weddings came on afterwards and some really hilarious wedding mishaps caught on tape was there to cheer me up.

Bought the most recent RahXephon DVD last week. I am so loving that series!!! It is kind of stressful though to not totally understand what is going on. LOL But that’s part of its appeal. I bought Vol 5 of Saiyuki a couple of weeks ago but haven’t had a chance to watch it yet. I should do that today. If I can keep myself awake.

My daughter has been really congested and coughing a lot the past few days. Last night was my night to get up with her during the night. I decided it would just be easier to sleep in her room instead of physically getting up every half hour to see what she needed. Boy was that a mistake! First of all her mattress is horrible! My back is killing me this morning. Then she kicked me and hit me in the face with her hands as she tossed and turned all friggin’ night. And she was constantly coughing in my face. I will be lucky if I don’t get sick. At least tonight I won’t have to do it. It will be hubby’s turn. MWUHAHAHA!!!!! Just kidding. He actually gets up with her most of the time since I get up so early in the morning. But today I didn’t have to get up early so I got up with her. I’m not sure how much sleep I actually got. Not much is all I know.

I am trying to finish the Return of the King book before the movie comes out in December. I just started Book Six last night. I think I will make it. Can’t wait for the next Matrix movie too!! Only nine more days!!! My hubby is trying to get a half day off that day so we can go see it during the day. It’s not looking like his boss is liking the idea though. LOL I usually only work half a day on Wednesdays anyway.

Well, I am barely staying awake here at the computer so I will run. Boy, I sure can ramble.

10/22/03 11:15 am - DAMN!!!

Well, it has been a very long time since I have updated. I hate that but unfortunately my real life has taken a very “blah” turn. Just haven’t felt like being vocal about it, though it probably would help A LOT!

I want to start out by doing this quiz I have seen on quite of few people’s journals lately. I thought it was interesting. Good way to learn things about people. So here goes:

A - Act your age- I guess, most of the time.
B - Boyfriend - No. I have a husband and would never cheat on him.
C - Chore you hate- Cleaning toilets! Especially in the kids’ bathroom. YUCK!
D - Dad's name- Tom
E - Essential make up item - Concealer for my dark under eye circles from being too stressed.
F - Favorite actor - Tom Hanks, Al Pachino, Bruce Willis.
G - Gold or silver - Gold.
H - Hometown - Mt. Sterling, KY - a very tiny speck in the US
I - Instruments you play - I used to play piano, hand bells, clarinet, bass clarinet, and drums - only bass drum during marching season. Best time of my life!
J - Job title - Medical Transcriptionist
K - Kids - Yes, two of them. One 9 nine year old boy and one 3 year old girl.
L - Living arrangements - We are living in our first home actually in our name and not renting! YAY
M - Mom's name - Lona
N - Number of people you've slept with - Urm — that’s kind of private. LOL J/k. I don’t care. 8
O - Overnight hospital stays - Yes. Twice for myself when I had my kids and once recently when I stayed overnight with my husband for his observation.
P - Phobia - I am terrified of falling from an extreme height. The actual height itself doesn’t scare me... just the thought of falling from that high.
Q - Quote you like - Don’t have one.
R - Religious affiliation - Methodist Christian
S - Siblings - One younger brother and one younger sister.
T - Time you wake up? 5:00 a.m. on weekdays and whenever my daughter gets up on weekends.
U - Unique habit - Don’t think I have one that is “unique”
W - Worst habit - Worrying about what others think too much. I shouldn’t give a shit and I didn’t used to. I hate that!
X - X-rays you've had - Tons of teeth x-rays and an x-ray of my left ankle when I sprained it in 1995, and an elbow x-ray in 1997. Never had any broken bones though. :-)
Y - Yummy food you make - Lemon garlic cod! I love that stuff.
Z - Zodiac Sign - Sagittarius.

Now. That was fun. :-) Time for some bitching now.

I have been away for so long because of so many things going on with my personal life. My husband was admitted to the hospital for overnight observation for chest pains. It was horrible for me. My whole life changed on that night. The thought of what I would do if I had to live my life without him in it. It was not a good time for me at all. Made me reassess the priorities in my life BIG TIME! Then he had to have a nuclear stress test done. We were extremely rushed because his office informed them that their company health insurance benefits were being dropped. So he got the test done in time before that happened. Luckily everything is fine with his heart. He has no blockages or anything we feared. So that was good news. We have still changed the way we eat and things though because it was extremely scary to even think about what could have been. But anyway. Then recently we get a letter from his insurance company saying that they are not going to pay for anything having to do with his heart. This means all the doctors visits, hospital stay and the stress test will NOT be covered and will have to come totally out of our pocket. We owe the doctor $420 and the hospital $2354.13 and God only knows what we will owe for the stress test. I imagine we are looking at easily $5,500 in medical bills all to be headed our way right around Christmas time! This really pisses me off. So we did some research as to why this was considered “pre-existing” because we were pretty sure he held off on the heart thing until he was covered. He went for an office visit on February 18th. His insurance card says the official date of service start was February 21st. But he remembers, and I am pretty sure I do to, talking to an insurance agent about that he had filled out all the paperwork at his office earlier and he needed to go to the doctor but that he hadn’t received an insurance card yet. The insurance agent told him he should be covered and to go ahead and go.... So he did. Just now to find out that he wasn’t covered at all! Now they are calling it a pre-existing condition! I don’t understand it at all. But I do know with two kids and all these bills due at Christmas time we are going to have a really rough holiday season. I am not looking forward to the holidays at all this year. *sighs*

Then there is crap with my job. I have been trying since April of this year to get a raise because it will be two years this December since I have had one... WAY TOO LONG! Back in April it was agreed that I was over due for a raise but it never happened. Then we had a management change. I hassled one of the doctors that I am closer too and can talk to about things with about the raise. He kept saying he would get it done but still nothing. Then I talked to our new office manager about two months ago about it and he said to tell the Human Resources lady to put me on a schedule. I STILL HAVEN’T HEARD ANYTHING!!! So I got some advice from our former office manager and a good friend of mine. She suggested that I write them a letter about it. And there is another girl who does transcription and I do far more than she does and how it isn’t fair. I did that and got a call back from the office yesterday about my letter. They are supposed to talk about my raise. My good friend said I should say I want to see it done by the 31st but I don’t know. But as far as my position being equal with the other girl who does transcription, they basically didn’t give a shit that I do more. I was terribly upset about that and had to stop working and call my friend at the office about it and just cry my eyes out to her. Thank God she understands the shit that goes on down in that office sometimes. She could see my frustration and is going to talk with one of the doctors about it for me. I hope this all gets resolved okay. With all that is going on with my husband’s medical bills the last thing I need right now is to lose my job or feel so ripped off by them that I want to quit. *sighs* After all the upset crying I did about that I was pretty nauseated feeling and had a horrible headache so I laid down to take a 20 minute nap. I set a timer on my watch to go off so I could get up and get back to work because I had a whole lot to get done, only the alarm on my watch wasn’t loud enough to wake me. The next thing I new it was an hour later and my son was at the front door ringing the doorbell to come in from getting home from school. I lost 40 minutes of valuable work time and actually didn’t feel any better. Then the mail came and we got the news about all that insurance denying the hospital claim and stuff.

I try to remind myself that my husband and I have been through harder times than this but it is still really hard. I have really enjoyed having enough extra money so that we can go out and buy some of the things we want each month. I was collection quite an anime collection. But with all these bills coming up we will have to take that money and put it to that. Being so in debt makes me absolutely hate money. And it makes it harder to work because you know you slave to make that money and then you have to fork it over into bills and you don’t get to enjoy it.

One good thing I have to report is that since my last reported weight on here of 207.5 I have lost 16 pounds! That is the one good thing going on right now. It has been not that much of a struggle to lose it so far. I hope that continues. With all that happened with my husband and the heart scare it has been really easy to change our lifestyles. Easier for me than him I think. Exercising more helps too. Helps me feel less stressed also. I really need a walk today I guess.

Well, my mom just called with our insurance commissioner’s web site address so I need to go check that out then get all of my husband’s insurance papers together so we can prepare to fight this thing. Wish me luck, anyone who might read this.

9/5/03 02:50 pm - URGH!

I just want to rant a little about this situation I just endured in the Walmart parking lot which really pisses me off. Actually it seems to be happening to me more and more lately and I am just about fed up with it. <_< Now I am not a heartless person who lacks compassion but I SERIOUSLY HATE PAN HANDLERS AND BEGGARS!!! I don't know if hard times are just really going around here or what but seems like more and more there are people in the parking lots asking for money. I dread going to Media Play because three or four times now going there I have been asked by people for money. They come right up to your car! No tact or manners at all. This is why I go to Suncoast more nowadays than Media Play. Unfortunately for me Media Play has the widest selection of manga around here. DOH! I just make sure my hubby goes with me now. But anyway, to my story of today's events. I went to Walmart today as I do every other week to get two weeks worth of groceries. I do this so I can avoid the store as much as possible. ^_^ Going only once every two weeks is much better than going every week. So I had been in the store for well over an hour shopping and trying to deal with my three year old at the same time. It was hot and muggy and we didn't get a very close parking space so here I am dragging this cart filled to the very top with stuff, stuff all underneath and bags hanging off the side and everything and towing my three year old just has quick as I can just to get to the car. Very tired and aggravated I was. There was this older guy kind of meandering through the parking lot. I actually thought for a while that he had forgotten where he parked his car at first and that he was looking for it. He was just kind of walking to a place then stopping for a bit then moving a little to another place then walking a bit more. Then he came up to my cart as I was unloading groceries. I was already very weary of him because of his strange behavior in the parking lot and made sure my daughter was already in the car in the very front seat far away from me and the open back of the SUV and that all the other doors were locked. I tried to ignore him in hopes that he would go away but he didn't. -_- So I finally looked at him and just about snapping his fucking head off for standing there when he handed me an envelope. Stamped on the front of this envelope was a message that reads "PARDON ME. I am a deaf mute selling bandages to support my family. Donate. Thank you for your kindness." I had a buck and some change in my pocket so I just gave it to him just to get rid of him. I was super annoyed. I always doubt that things like this are ever really true. This had actually happened to me back when I was in Jr. High also. My best friend and I had gone to rent a movie and a guy came up with a deaf mute card that said kind of the same thing only he was selling the card which had the alphabet in sign language on the back of it. There were actually two band-aids in the envelope. The two most expensive band-aids I have ever bought. But they guy really didn't smell all that great so I had hoped that maybe he was for real. I don't know. A few minutes later I saw him in the aisle of parked cars right next to mine just standing there next to a car. Then he leaned on it. I thought for a minute he was just going to wait by that car until it's owner came out so he could hit them up. Then I leaned in the car to put my daughter in her car seat but I was still watching him out through the back window. I saw him pull out a wad of cash which I could only assume was his profits from looming in the parking lot there. Then he counted it and pulled out a wallet from his back pocket and put the bills inside. Then he got into the car he was leaned against! It was not a old shitter car either. Seems to me he really didn't need to be doing what he was doing in the parking lot there. I really had half a mind to follow him to see where he went from there. Like to see if he went home or whatever. I still have my very serious doubts as to whether or not this guy was genuine or not. I just think that people who find themselves on hard times should take advantage of the public services put in place for that purpose... they shouldn't be coming up to me in parking lots begging for me to part with some of the money that I get up of my ass every day to make! (LOL Actually I sit on my ass to make it since I type all damn day... but that's not the point!) There are also countless churches around town. I just feel it should be illegal for people to ask for money in public places like that. I actually was fearful for my safety and it makes me much more wear of going back to Walmart ever again. But alas, I will have to one day or we will all starve. LOL I'm going to have to get me a taser or seriously get a permit and licence to pack heat. My husband would love that one! I think a lot of my animosity towards people asking others for money in situations like that has to do with something that happened back when I was in high school... I think. I just remember my family and I were on a trip to Kentucky and we had stopped at a rest stop. This guy came up to my father as we were picnicking and gave him this long sob story about his car was broken down and he and his daughter were stuck and needed some money to get to the next exit and get things worked out with their car. My dad just gave him a little to shut him up and get him away as we were TRYING to eat lunch and get back on the road pretty quick. As we were leaving the rest stop we saw that very guy getting into a car and driving off in it. Yeah! His car was really broken wasn’t it?!? I know that there are times when people are really in trouble and may need help but you know what... I am never happy to give it. Because there are just to many con artists and people out there waiting to take advantage of you and you can’t tell the good from the bad. So, from my point of view, it is just easier to be biased against them all. You don’t get taken as much that way I think. Just my opinion though. I feel so much better getting all that off my chest. It has been driving me nuts all day. Every time I see that envelope from that guy I get angry and just can’t help but get the feeling that I got MAJORLY SCREWED!!! AH! Okay. On to something else. LOL I have been doing really shitty with my diet thus far. I weighed today and have lost a pound which I don’t see how. I have been giving in to my sweet cravings which unfortunately always hit around 8:00 at night. Ice cream has been a real weakness. But at long as I can keep this pound off I guess I will be happy. I did actually manage to ride the recumbent bike some. I found all the pegs to the Total Gym so hopefully I will get the will power to use it too one of these days. I will try my hardest to take things much more seriously next week. I need to set myself a challenge. Well, that enough’s enough babble for now. ^_^

9/1/03 02:28 pm - Yet another boring day

Well, so far this has been another boring day. Yesterday was not a good day at all because I had some sort of stomach flu. Not fun at all. I finally seem to be over it today though except that I keep getting these dizzy feeling every now and then. It's strange. But I am about to get some caffeine in my system soon and hopefully that will help. I think it is probably caffeine withdrawal. Who knows.

Last night was pretty fun though. My mom had several boxes full of old stuff of mine and my husbands that was over there from back when we first lived there almost nine years ago. LOL It was such a blast to go through those old boxes of stuff and see things we hadn't seen in so long. A lost of old high school stuff from when were dating and some of my stuff was even older than that, like Jr. High stuff. It was kind of neat to go through old cards that people sent us when we had our baby shower and wedding. There was even a 200 page story that I had written in there when I was pretty young. Unfortunately it wasn't dated though so I am not exactly sure how old I was when I wrote it. I am sure it is extremely stupid. I will read it one of these days. LOL

Dave, my husband, has just gone to get me the Return of The King book since he was running by Books A Million. I decided I just can't wait until the movie comes out to see what happens. He doesn't want me to tell him anything at all about the book though. He wants to be in total suspense when watching the movie. I find it just as exciting to read it as to watch it. Whatever. I just didn't want to wait.

Weighed in today also. 207.5 is the weight for my starting point. I will aspire to lose 1.5 pounds this week just to make it an even number on my chart that I am going to make up. We'll see how it goes. Haven't really been trying to eat very well today being a holiday and all. I'll start that aspect of it tomorrow. I want to really enjoy the last day of my four day weekend.

My daughter, Sheridan, is yelling to get out of the tub now so I shall dispense with the chatter for now.

8/31/03 09:03 am - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I am so bored right now it isn't even funny. Just got my daughter ready for church and shuttled her off with my parents. They take her to church. I quit going 8 years ago or so I'd say. Haven't lost my faith, just the faith in religious organizations. All the church wants to do is suck us dry so they can build and add on to the church. Which I understands needs to be done, but still. I dunno. I suppose I need to get back into going I guess, especially since my dauther likes going to her Sunday School class so much.

Yesterday was kind of fun. We went to Macon, the biggest city north of us, and shopped at several places. I went to Media Play and got Manga books 1 & 2 of King of Hell and Book 1 of Excel Saga. The only thing I don't like about the graphic novels is that it is such a quick read. *sighs* But I am starting to get a collection of them now. I used to never read them. Can't wait until Tuesday when the next FMP and Saiyuki DVDs come out. August has been a very dry month for the anime I watch. Only the DBZ Broly movie came out this month. Nothing else. :-( Ah well. In October 14th I am going to get totally drained of money. On that one day the next Pet Shop of Horrors and Vampire Game graphic novels come out as well as DBGT, FMP and Saiyuki DVDs. All that comes out on the same frikkin' day! I'll get lots of Replay Points though. Heheh.

Tomorrow I try to start my diet. :-( Not looking forward to it really, but ah well. It has to be done. Creeping up over the 200lb mark has been a real eye opener I guess. My dumbass sister just went and got on some pill. Fastin I believe she called it. Paid $65 for it. They gave her a diet to stick to also. She told me what she has to do. Only 1000 calories a day and you can't drink any of those. Nothing but water. And you have to exercise. I told her what a dope she is. I said, "You can stick to a 1000 calorie diet and exercise and lose weight anyway without those damn pills. You could have saved yourself 65 bucks!" But she doesn't listen. LOL We'll see how well it works. Guess I will weigh in tomorrow and go from there. Weigh in once a week. My goal is only 1 pound per week. Very reasonable I think. I have a 10 year class reunion next year, plus me and my hubby's 10 year wedding anniversary, so I want to make sure I am back at my "pre-child" weight by then. It would be nice anyway. Only time will tell.

Well, I'm off to do some major house cleaning. My place is looking like a major tornado (named Sheridan, LOL My three year old) just came sweeping through here in a massive wave of destruction. Maybe I will actually get it cleaned today. I've been saying I was going to do it for a while now. That's another thing about my weight that really bugs me. It makes me extremely lazy!!! <_< I sure do hope my mood improves as the day goes on. *sighs*
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